Why did I not tell my family right away about my diagnosis? I have a couple of reasons: 1) I wanted time to process and deal with what I was going through. To figure out what how best to tell my family. I felt that if I told them right away all they would do was worry, there really was nothing they could possibly do to make it go away. My kids were on summer break from school so I wanted them to enjoy themselves.
I decided to tell my kids on August 16th, 11 days before my surgery. Both my kids were home from college so it was the right time. I had to wait until 11:30 pm. since that is the time my son got home from work. I told them that I wanted to get some ice cream, so we got in the car to drive to AM/PM and got some ice cream. I am spontaneous so it wasn’t something out of the ordinary that I would make them do. We got the ice cream and we sat at a table nearby. I didn’t want to tell them at home, I didn’t want that visual of coming home and looking at the place where I told them of my diagnosis. At first I told them I had to tell them something, they said “You are selling the house…”, I said no. I then said, I’m getting another dog…which they gasped at but then I quickly told them I was just kidding. Then I told them that I got diagnosed with breast cancer, they got quiet. I explained to them how I found out and what the next steps would be. I assured them that all would be ok and I wanted them to continue to do what they needed to do for school and work. I told them that my mom would be here to take care of me and I promised that if I needed them that I would tell them. They asked me to keep them informed of my doctor appointments and progress. I wanted to tell the kids separately, now it was time to tell my mom, my sister and her fiancé.
The next day, August 17th, we had a family dinner since my son was going back to school the next day. My sister and her fiancé came over and we grilled out some delicious carne asada and played some board games. Before the night ended, I had everyone gather in the living room and that is when I told them what was going on. My mom was upset that I didn’t tell her as soon as I found out but I told her that I didn’t want her to worry and that there was not much she could do. My sister and her fiancé asked some questions and we talked about the next steps. My sister’s fiancé did tell me that one of his family members had dealt with breast cancer at a stage 4 level and has now been cancer free for over 10 years. It was comforting to hear that someone with a higher stage as me was able to battle this.
I then proceeded to tell my aunt and uncle, they have always been a strong support system for me and the fact that my aunt is a nurse is a bonus. After that I didn’t really share it with other people, I have usually been a private person where I don’t focus much on myself but I am a proud mama and share/post about my kiddos.
Check Peoples Work
As if dealing with cancer wasn’t enough, I ran into an unexpected delay in my treatment. On September 29th, I called City of Hope to schedule a second opinion appointment, which thankfully was scheduled for October 6th. That night, they had me fill out a questionnaire, the next day I had a phone appointment with the nurse to go over my history. I gave them access to all my test/procedures, etc. I was pleased on how quickly they were working on preparing for my appointment.
Pathology Results
On Thursday, September 18th, I got a call from the doctor and scheduled to talk to him after I got off work. The pathology report came back. Good news is that it confirmed clear margins on the lump, however they did find cancer in one of my lymph nodes. I was not prepared for the additional cancer in my lymph nodes. I was shocked at 1) how fast the lump grew from 2 mm to 11m in one year and 2) they found cancer in my lymph nodes.
Day of Surgery - Lumpectomy
Wednesday, August 27th, my surgery call time was 9:30 am. Prior to the surgery I took care of a couple of things. For one I updated my Trust and all beneficiaries on my accounts. I also established my medical directive. I didn’t anticipate that anything could go wrong but I wanted to leave everything in order just in case. When my dad passed away, I had to deal with probate because his affairs were not in order and I did not want to do that to my kids. No one likes to think of the worst, I am no exception, but I want my family to know exactly what my wishes are.
What I did while I waited for surgery
It was a good month and two weeks from the time I found out about the diagnosis on July 15th, to the date of my surgery on August 27th. During that time I carried on with my routine of working, going to the gym and hanging out with friends and family on the weekends. I spent a lot of time at the beach and I took many solo trips to palm springs enjoying the sun. I love the sun…I think I was a lizard in my former life because I love the heat. Give me a beach or a lounge chair by the pool and I am a happy person. I also helped my daughter move in to her new apartment, helped my son move into his new dorm, went on a cruise with my girlfriends and spent time doing what I like. I didn’t feel like I had cancer other than having the mass that I could easily feel. I felt normal. I was in the best shape of my life since I had been exercising and eating healthy. I was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis over 20 years ago and I had it under control, no pain, no inflammation and for the past 3 months, I didn’t even have to take any medication for it. Other than having cancer, I was in perfect health.
Telling My Family
Why did I not tell my family right away about my diagnosis? I have a couple of reasons: 1) I wanted time to process and deal with what I was going through. To figure out what how best to tell my family. I felt that if I told them right away all they would do was worry, there really was nothing they could possibly do to make it go away. My kids were on summer break from school so I wanted them to enjoy themselves.
Getting Ready for Surgery
I met with the surgeon on July 24th. I liked my surgeon, he answered all my questions and gave me some options. My cancer was in the milk ducts, Ductal Carcinoma, stage 2. I was told it is the laziest and most treatable cancer I could have. I was given two options, I could either A have a full mastectomy of both my breasts but that would take 6 months to prep and schedule since I would have to deal with a plastic surgeon as well. Bonus on this option is that I would get a discounted boob lift. Option B would be to have the mass removed which could be done right away. I opted for option B. I just wanted to get the mass out as soon as possible, I didn’t want to wait.
How It All Started
My journey began in the middle of June 2025, just a couple of days before my 50th birthday. On June 16th I was in the kitchen after having worked out, warming up some food in the microwave. As I was warming up my food, my hand brushed down my breast and I felt a hard little ball on my left upper breast area. I have always had very fibrosis breasts so I was used to feeling lumps and bumps, but this one felt different. It was hard like a marble and didn’t move around. I knew something was off, however I didn’t’ think it was anything serious since I had a mammogram just last June.